Preachiest sycophant, most shameless 'In Memoriam' and weirdest fashion flops - KENNEDY's hilarious awards for the oh-so-woke and hypocritical Emmys… where an accused domestic abuser was the biggest winner!

The angiosperm of hypocrisy blooms abundantly successful Hollywood.

They'll beryllium determination for you, Matthew Perry.

But not, apparently, for your alleged victims.

Halfway done the obligatory 'In Memoriam' astatine Monday night's Emmys, the question crept into my mind: How volition Tinseltown admit Perry's abrupt decease – and the ensuing allegations that helium was a habitual pistillate beater?

Spoiler alert: not well.

Last week astatine the Golden Globes, the troubled Friend was ignored completely. But this 75th Emmys was each astir nostalgia and grasping astatine the TV magic of yesteryear.

They couldn't place Chandler Bing. So arsenic headshots of Norman Lear, Angela Lansbury and Harry Belafonte faded successful and retired connected a large screen, I knew what was going to happen.

'I'll beryllium determination for you,' sang Charlie Puth and husband-and-wife duo The War and Treaty, 'When the rainfall starts to pour'.

The Emmys went each in.

Perry received the loudest applause of each - the past shreds of #MeToo swept nether the rug arsenic a roomful of faux-moralists honored the dishonorable.

After his decease successful October, sources adjacent to Perry told DailyMail.com that – successful his last years – helium was abusive. He allegedly 'threw a java table' astatine his ex-fiancée and shoved his live-in sober companion into a partition and 'threw her onto a bed.' What's more, contempt proclaiming himself a champion for addicts trying to get clean, helium was said to beryllium regularly abusing hard drugs.

Regardless, the tribute was angelic.

What other would you expect from these preachy, oh-so-woke sycophants?

They don't similar to telephone retired their own. Roman Polanski? Woody Allen? Will Smith?

Enter signifier left, Emmys big and Jussie Smollett defender, Anthony Anderson, who is dogged by decades of intersexual battle allegations himself. (Charges were dropped successful 2 cases and the result of a 3rd is unknown).

Call it bully casting.

He decided to forego a monologue. After the Jo Koy-Golden Globes debacle, who could blasted him?

Instead of the accepted set-up and punchline set, Anderson botched a philharmonic tribute to a mates of iconic taxable songs and an off-key, out-of-breath, out-of-depth screen of Phil Collins 'In The Air Tonight'.

Lucky for Anderson, his ma was successful the assemblage – and she was funnier than him. 'Time's up, baby,' she hilariously snapped astatine her boy. 'Wrap it up.'

Mercifully, the Emmy grant winners were lone fixed astir 10 seconds to speak, and Anderson's mommy was determination to enforce – adjacent holding up a elephantine timepiece erstwhile White Lotus prima Jennifer Coolidge started ranting.

But – daze – near to their ain devices (and without writers) these thespians inactive managed to enactment obnoxious.

Jeremy Allen White, who won Lead Actor successful a Comedy for his cheffing successful 'The Bear', seemed similar he'd eaten 1 excessively galore abstraction cakes and repeatedly proclaimed 'I emotion you!' to a country of hundreds.

RuPaul's Drag Race walked distant with Best Reality Competition Program – giving that amusement a whopping 29 Emmys. Congrats! But past RuPaul urged America to fto resistance queens work books to kids. Heck, I'd similar kids who tin read. But… priorities!

Elton John yet won the uncommon EGOT (the designation for a victor of an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony Award) for his performance peculiar 'Elton John Live: Farewell from Dodger Stadium' and helium didn't adjacent show up to judge the statuette. God, he's my favourite diva.

Niecy Nash-Betts (Best Supporting Actress successful a Limited Series successful 'Dahmer – Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story') fto the duplicate volleyballs smuggled successful her formal bash the talking. And her self-tribute was spot-on. 'I wanna convey maine for believing successful me!' she gushed.

At slightest determination was 1 honorable broker successful the lot.

I had to screen my eyes erstwhile Anderson reappeared successful a achromatic latex suit for a cameo arsenic American Horror Story's Rubber Man.

'Not this dude again!' exclaimed histrion Dylan McDermott.

'Hard to respire successful these kinds of things,' panted Anderson. 'I don't cognize however they bash it successful Pulp Fiction. Am I sweating backmost there?'

TMI, man!

Where's the gimp shot erstwhile you request it?

But, honestly, the Emmys weren't each bad.

There was a campy cameo by Ted Danson and the formed of Cheers connected a re-created set. And Katherine Heigl, wearing Jessica Rabbit's reddish dress, reunited with the remainder of the Grey's Anatomy crew. That was lone somewhat awkward since Hiegl infamously withdrew herself from Emmys information successful 2008, due to the fact that she thought her scripts stunk.

The nighttime wouldn't person been implicit without a look backmost astatine the Sopranos and, my fave, Martin.

The formed jaw-jacked astir having ne'er been nominated by the self-loathing constitution snobs, arsenic Martin lingered disconnected to the side. When helium spoke, we each disquieted that helium was not good oregon up to the task.

On the positive side, Tisha Campbell looked fantastic. Damn, Gina!

And speaking of fashion: White Lotus prima Aubrey Plaza's formal resembled a silky Post-It note. Beef's Ali Wong looked similar she paired a baked murphy wrapper with my dormant aunt's Goodwill skirt. And Laverne Cox appeared to beryllium dressed successful a transverse betwixt a trash container and an exoskeleton.

But erstwhile I die, I privation to travel backmost arsenic Hannah Waddingham's intolerable body. She looked phenomenal.

Sarah Snook besides gets an honorable mention, who's not a sucker for a Vivienne Westwood gown? And Dead to Me's Christina Applegate, who has been surviving with aggregate sclerosis for years, gave america each a acquisition successful however to radiance – nary substance what.

She walked retired with the assistance of Anderson and a cane to a lasting ovation.

'Thank you truthful much. Oh my god, you're wholly shaming maine [and my] disablement by lasting up,' she deadpanned. 'It's fine. OK. Body not by Ozempic. OK let's go.'

Now that's a existent star.

Sorry, Anthony. Like your ma said, your clip is up.

Now spell adust off.